He is an equal opportunity slut.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
