I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
