Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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