absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
