he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
