omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
