p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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