Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
