She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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