You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
