Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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