Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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