I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
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