He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
