well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize