24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
