And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
