New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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