Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
