i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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