these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
