I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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