no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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