hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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