You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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