Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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