google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
