So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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