Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
