Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
