I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
