He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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