I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
