I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
