Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
