Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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