Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize