Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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