its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
