Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
