She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
