Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
