What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
im holly from the hills drunk
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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