Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize