mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
