Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
