Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
