So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
