Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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