On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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