i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
