I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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