Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
