dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
