i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
