An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Found the puke drawer
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
