You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
