we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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