are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
