Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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