This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
