She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
