Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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