he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize