I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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