just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
