Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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